Coping with Change

Stress often comes in the form of change to our lives.  Therefore, it is very important that we learn how to “get a handle” on change so that we can roll with it rather than be rolled over by it. Stress can literally run you over!  Did you know that researchers are finding out that emotional stress is associated with increases in heart disease as well as other stress-related illnesses such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and fibromyalgia? Life can and will change in unexpected ways.  About the time you are getting used to a routine and feel you are
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April 18, 2009 | by
Categories: Stress and Transitions / Change.
Tags: albert ellis, change, relationships, research, routine, Stress, and time.

Happiness, Marriage, and Divorce.

Can marriage make you happy?  Or, if you are unhappily married, will divorce make you feel better?  Probably it will not.  I’ve been working with couples long enough now to see patterns, tendencies, and trends in marriage and divorce.   One tendency I want to highlight here is the human tendency to pursue happiness in all the wrong places and then get upset when those places in our lives don’t produce happiness.  “The pursuit of happiness” was written into the U.S. Declaration of Independence by Thomas Jefferson as a right of all the people, and so we Americans expect happiness to
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August 7, 2007 | by
Categories: Divorce, Marriage, and Mental Health.
Tags: depression, Divorce, happiness, Marriage, and research.

The Gift of a Father’s Presence

Father’s Day is coming soon.  What kind of present have you picked out in celebration of Father’s Day?  In regards to common Father’s Day presents, Bill Cosby is quoted as saying “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”  I have not yet received soap-on-a-rope from my kids, but I’ll be happy when I do.  My happiness will come from knowing that my kids were thinking good thoughts about me when they picked out a gift or made me a picture. I don’t recall any particular present I gave my father on Father’s Day, and I guess that’s
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June 1, 2007 | by
Categories: Parenting.
Tags: Family, father, presents, relationships, and research.

Women’s Health: What Social Science Research Tells Us

This month’s focus on women’s health provides an opportunity to share some valuable information regarding family dynamics.  Recent research has taken a serious look at the effects of marriage and family life on women’s well-being.  Much of the research in the social sciences suggests that marriage is beneficial to women’s health.  For the women who are reading this article: Before you start laughing at that last statement please understand that these studies are based on huge amounts of data from surveys of thousands of people.  The findings are based on averages, and comparisons of married women to those who are
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May 3, 2007 | by
Categories: Marriage.
Tags: Divorce, domestic violence, emotions, Marriage, mothers, research, and women.

Lessons from the Love Lab

Some very compelling research on marriage has emerged from the University of Washington in the last few years.  Psychology professor John Gottman and his team of researchers have developed a lab the press has dubbed “The Love Lab.”  In their laboratory which is set up like an apartment, Gottman and his fellow researchers observe couples as they interact.  They see it all; the good, the bad, and the ugly interactions that can take place in marriage. Each partner’s stress levels are measured several times a day through heart rate monitors, stress hormone levels, video monitoring, blood pressure, and interviews.  This
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November 12, 2006 | by
Categories: Marriage.
Tags: arguments, communication, Divorce, dr gottman, relationships, research, and time.