Being Present for the Presents

This picture made me laugh.  This is a clever yet poignant statement about the way we often operate in our everyday family life.  This family isn’t putting on a fake front, even for the ubiquitous happy holidays happy family photo.  This picture made me think about being fully present in the moment.  It is true that we can be so preoccupied and distracted that we miss our own lives.  We can even miss the times that are supposed to be the happiest, most memorable times!  “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why
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Categories: Family, Holidays, and Transitions / Change.

How to Make Yourself Miserable

Long ago, the founding fathers who wrote the Declaration of Independence established a government that gave us the right to “…life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”   This is great.  Most of us exercise our right to live life in freedom.  Some of us, however, seem to be in the pursuit of misery rather than happiness.  Have you ever noticed that being happy is easier for some people that it is for others?  The ease with which some find happiness has little to do with  privileges and income, and a lot to do with attitude and perspective. You may think
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Categories: Mental Health.

Happiness, Marriage, and Divorce.

Can marriage make you happy?  Or, if you are unhappily married, will divorce make you feel better?  Probably it will not.  I’ve been working with couples long enough now to see patterns, tendencies, and trends in marriage and divorce.   One tendency I want to highlight here is the human tendency to pursue happiness in all the wrong places and then get upset when those places in our lives don’t produce happiness.  “The pursuit of happiness” was written into the U.S. Declaration of Independence by Thomas Jefferson as a right of all the people, and so we Americans expect happiness to
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Categories: Divorce, Marriage, and Mental Health.

Resolve to Be Positive

Happy New Year!  Have you made any resolutions for the New Year?  Making New Year’s resolutions is a very good idea.  They really do work! Research by John C. Norcross has shown that compared to people who don’t make resolutions,  people who make New Year’s resolutions are actually twice as likely to successfully change something in their lives.  Whether you have resolved to get physically fit, quit some bad habit, or chosen not to make a resolution, let me suggest a resolution that will change your life.  This year, resolve to develop a positive attitude. Having a positive attitude is
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Categories: Mental Health and Stress.