How to Have a Bad Day

Cheryl’s day was not beginning as planned.  She forgot to set her alarm, and so she and her husband who always relied on her to get up first were both late for work.  On top of that, their dog had diarrhea on their bedroom floor. She thought “Of course!  This always happens to me!”  She hurriedly got into her car and looked at the time; only five minutes behind.  At a stop light, she grabbed her coffee travel mug and as she took a drink, the lid she forgot to screw on fell off and coffee spilled all over her
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January 14, 2023 | by
Categories: Mental Health, Personal Growth, and Stress.

Are you a Bystander or an Upstander?

Most of us know the story of The Good Samaritan that can be found in the Christian New Testament book of Luke chapter 10.  Jesus tells a story of a Jewish man that was mugged and left for dead along the road.  A devout Jewish man, and then a Jewish priest both passed on by without helping the injured man.  A third man passed by who was a Samaritan.  Samaritans as a group did not like Jews, and Jews didn’t like Samaritans.  However, it was this Samaritan who stopped and came to the aid of the victim along the road. 
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July 9, 2022 | by
Categories: Faith issues, Family, Parenting, Personal Growth, and School.

Keep it Boring

Airplane pilots describe flying as a mostly boring activity interspersed with moments of panic.  When you are in the air and dependent on the flying machine, you want it to stay boring!  Unless you are an acrobatic pilot.   Daily life can reflect this situation, especially now during the COVID 19 restricted life we are living.  Pilots have a flight plan that they follow as best as they can, and this allows them to get to their next destination as safely and predictably as possible.  Using this as a metaphor for life, what is your flight plan?  Where are you
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July 12, 2020 | by
Categories: Children, COVID, Family, Parenting, Personal Growth, and Relationships.

Going to the Deep End

The deep end can be scary.  What’s down there?  What if I sink, or get lost?  I’m not talking about water, but emotions and relationships.   Intimate relationships have a deep end, and if one of you is there alone will the other one be able and willing to go out there too?  As a marriage and family therapist, I see a lot of fear of the deep end.  This comes in two forms; a fear of emotional vulnerability, or a belief that it’s just not important or needed (which is most likely just a concealed fear).   Approximately 70%
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August 28, 2019 | by
Categories: Couples, Marriage, and Personal Growth.

What is More Important Than a Red Balloon?

I just watched the movie “Christopher Robin” in which we see Winnie the Pooh and friends rescue an older Christopher Robin from himself.  As a child, Christopher Robin played and spent long hours exploring the Hundred Acre Wood with his stuffed animal friends.  He used his imagination to create stories that most of us heard about as children in the Pooh books by A.A. Milne.   Some wise sayings from Pooh are heard again in the movie.  Specifically, there are a couple of observations Pooh has about doing nothing.  The first is “Doing nothing often leads to the very best
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August 28, 2018 | by
Categories: Children, Family, Managing Media, Marriage, Parenting, Personal Growth, and Stress.

Why is bullying such a problem these days?

Given the recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida, the importance of addressing bullying is at its peak.  Bullying is an issue that is related to several problems in our schools, from mild anxiety problems to truancy to incidents of deadly violence.  Did you know that social rejection and bullying are common factors among students who become school shooters?  According to the American Academy of Pediatrics victims of bullying are twice as likely to bring weapons to school.  Statistics reported by ABC News state that nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids (nationwide)
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February 26, 2018 | by
Categories: Childhood Disorders, Children, Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Personal Growth, School, and Stress.

Traits of Healthy Families Cont’d

This is the final part of the series I have written about traits of healthy families.  As identified by Dolores Curran in her book, Traits of a Healthy Family, the 15 traits that healthy families show are listed below.  Based on her research, a healthy family is one that: Communicates and listens. Values table time and conversation. Affirms and supports one another. Teaches respect for others. Develops a sense of trust. Has a sense of play and humor. Has a balance of interaction among members. Shares leisure time. Strong sense of family in which rituals and traditions abound. Exhibits a
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January 22, 2018 | by
Categories: Children, Faith issues, Family, and Personal Growth.

Traits of a Healthy Family #1-2

What do healthy families look like?  There’s a saying; “Crazy comes in many forms but sanity just has one.”  Dolores Curran, author of “Traits of a Healthy Family,” surveyed professionals in education, ministry, health care, and family counseling, asking them to identify what they observed in families they deemed as “healthy.”  Based on this survey, 15 traits were identified as components of healthy families.   There is no single family that embodies all of these traits, so don’t feel pressure to master them all.  This issue will look at the first two in Curran’s list; communication, and valuing family time
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December 15, 2017 | by
Categories: Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Personal Growth, and Relationships.

Help your Middle Schooler Thrive Socially

So many books and movies illustrate the struggle that adolescents go through in social relationships. The Hunger Games, Lord of the Flies, and Harry Potter illustrate the social dynamics at work in the middle-school aged social life: Belonging, power, status, identity, leadership, conformity, and intergroup conflict.  I really think that stories like The Hunger Games are wildly popular among “tweens” because they can relate to the struggle those adolescent characters are going through.  And, don’t you think the writers of those stories chose to make their characters adolescents for just this reason?  In The Hunger Games story, Katniss and Peeta are fighting
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August 28, 2017 | by
Categories: Children, Personal Growth, Relationships, and School.