Will mental health counseling help you? It depends.
Read More →
There’s More Than One Grinch Out There
The Big Grinch of 2020 brought with him several Little Grinches. These other grinches have always been around, but the Big Grinch has really paved the way for them to infiltrate our homes, relationships, and personal lives in new and devious ways. These Little Grinches are fear, addiction, loneliness, confusion, apathy and mistrust. I’ve seen an unprecedented level of fear and anxiety in 2020. Of course there are more issues that have been worrisome this year; the election, the spread of a serious virus, economic uncertainty and plenty of civil unrest. Many people have dealt with the anxiety by
Read More →
COVID, Family, Holidays, Mental Health, and Parenting.
Surviving Family Lockdown
This is weird new territory we are in, folks. I think its going to be important to have a plan
Read More →
Should I Let My Child Have Social Media?
Here’s my answer. Growing up in the digital age is something most parents today know nothing about. We have no direct experience of what going through middle school in the era of social media is really like. We can, however, observe the impact of social media on our children. I want to emphasize that we must not underestimate its impact on our children. I believe that our middle schoolers are the most vulnerable to social media’s influence. The reason I say this is based on child development theory. Erik Erickson developed the “Psychosocial” stages of development. He believed
Read More →
Why is bullying such a problem these days?
Given the recent school shooting in Parkland, Florida, the importance of addressing bullying is at its peak. Bullying is an issue that is related to several problems in our schools, from mild anxiety problems to truancy to incidents of deadly violence. Did you know that social rejection and bullying are common factors among students who become school shooters? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics victims of bullying are twice as likely to bring weapons to school. Statistics reported by ABC News state that nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids (nationwide)
Read More →
Traits of Healthy Families #6-9
Lately I’ve been expanding on Dolores Curran’s book “Traits of a Healthy Family” which identifies 15 traits that healthy families exhibit. She is quick to point out that no family is perfect or lives out all of these 15 traits. However, healthy families as a whole will show these qualities. Last month’s column was guest-written by my daughter and covered the traits of “Valuing table time” and “strong sense of rituals and traditions.” This edition will examine how and why playfulness, leisure time, balance, and shared responsibility are important in family life. We’ve all heard it said that “The
Read More →
Family, Marriage, Mental Health, Parenting, and Relationships.
Traits of a Healthy Family #3-5
Last month’s column introduced the traits of good communication and valuing family time and conversation. In this issue, three more of the 15 traits from Dolores Curran’s book, “Traits of a Healthy Family” will be covered. Traits 3 – 5 have to do with providing every family member with a sense of inclusion and acceptance. Trait three, “affirming and supporting one another”, really starts with the parents. Happy parents make for happy kids. Affirming parents have good self-esteem, and work to instill a positive mood in the home. This positive tone in the home creates a general expectation that
Read More →
Family, Marriage, Mental Health, Parenting, and Relationships.
Traits of a Healthy Family #1-2
What do healthy families look like? There’s a saying; “Crazy comes in many forms but sanity just has one.” Dolores Curran, author of “Traits of a Healthy Family,” surveyed professionals in education, ministry, health care, and family counseling, asking them to identify what they observed in families they deemed as “healthy.” Based on this survey, 15 traits were identified as components of healthy families. There is no single family that embodies all of these traits, so don’t feel pressure to master them all. This issue will look at the first two in Curran’s list; communication, and valuing family time
Read More →
The Challenge of Difficult Emotions
Fear. Shame. Anger. Boredom. Sadness. Disgust. These are feelings we don’t enjoy, and we can often go to great lengths to avoid them. This was documented centuries ago by Blaise Pascal, who is quoted to say “All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.” We try to suppress these emotions, especially fear and shame. However, as Brené Brown has noted, emotions are like the old string of Christmas lights: when we deny or turn off one light bulb (such as anger) the whole string goes out. Essentially, we become emotionally disabled in
Read More →
Are you Willing and Able?
Happy New Year! What I’ve been thinking about lately is will and ability. If you think about the word “responsibility” you can think of it as “response ability.” It’s your ability to respond to life’s demands. Its your capacity to act. Another thing to consider besides ability is willingness. As great American thinker William James describes it, its the “sense of the amount of effort we can put forth.” We all have a power of will. It is my hope and prayer that you have an immense power of will. It is the engine with which you drive your
Read More →
