Willing and Able, Aware and Care

In the dark comedy movie “Downhill”,  a vacationing family faces imminent threat from an avalanche.  The crisis of the story occurs when Will Farrell’s character Pete runs away right when his wife and family needed him the most.  The rest of the movie entails Pete trying to regain his family’s trust and heal the rift in his marriage.  It’s not really a funny movie in my opinion, but it does illustrate how marriages can experience a symbolic “avalanche” of stress.  The story illustrates how difficult it can be to heal and forgive when we’ve been hurt and abandoned by those
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January 12, 2021 | by
Categories: Couples, Marriage, and Relationships.

Going to the Deep End

The deep end can be scary.  What’s down there?  What if I sink, or get lost?  I’m not talking about water, but emotions and relationships.   Intimate relationships have a deep end, and if one of you is there alone will the other one be able and willing to go out there too?  As a marriage and family therapist, I see a lot of fear of the deep end.  This comes in two forms; a fear of emotional vulnerability, or a belief that it’s just not important or needed (which is most likely just a concealed fear).   Approximately 70%
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August 28, 2019 | by
Categories: Couples, Marriage, and Personal Growth.

How to Fight with Your Valentine Effectively

Valentines Day is a nice reminder to show your love and affection.  After the chocolates are all gone, though, you still have to work out your problems.  Conflict should not be avoided in love relationships.  In fact, healthy conflict will lead to greater intimacy than a box of chocolates will!   Following certain rules will keep you from engaging in harmful interactions that give conflict a bad name.  Below are some ground rules that I recommend using to keep your conflict in a healthy zone. Think of them as a box of chocolates.  Pick out the ones you would like
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January 24, 2019 | by
Categories: Couples, Marriage, and Relationships.

If He Really Loved Me….

Let’s talk about assumptions and the havoc they can cause in relationships!  An assumption is something that is believed to be true without any proof.  Often, its a guess about what someone else thinks or feels.  It is often the case that by the time a couple is sitting in my office for marriage therapy the assumptions they have about each other have created a great deal of pain and misunderstanding.  It seems to me that many couples (and I could put myself out of business for saying this) could avoid huge fights by just asking some simple questions instead
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April 22, 2017 | by
Categories: Couples, Dating, and Marriage.

Get a New Strategy

I don’t know about you but summer whizzed by like a bottle rocket for our family, leaving us a little startled by the abrupt beginning to another school year.  The end of summer can catch us a little off guard.  That being the case, its still possible to get a grip and find a successful strategy to stay whole, balanced and healthy as a family.   This takes planning and preparation.  Here’s a few quotes that drive this message home: “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” ~ Benjamin Franklin “You hit what you aim at, and if
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September 26, 2016 | by
Categories: Children, Couples, Family, Marriage, Parenting, School, and Stress.

Marital “Check Engine” Lights

Have you ever waited too long to address the “check engine” light on your car?  Someone told me that he just put a piece of electric tape over his light so he didn’t have to see it.  I’m not sure how that worked out.  There are warning signs we are given in life, and it’s very risky to ignore these warning signs.  When it comes to our marriages, we can definitely ignore the warning signs and we do so out our peril. I’ve listed out here some marital red flags of warning.  Essentially, these are like the “check engine” warning
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July 27, 2015 | by
Categories: Couples and Marriage.

Conversation Starters for that Valentine’s Date

Well here it is.  Its that time of year where every couple is expected to go out on a date.  Like it or not, you need to create a situation resembling this: a table for two with candles, maybe some champagne, the ultimate romantic dinner.  Chocolates and certain garments are given as gifts.   It’s the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner date!  While the reader can probably guess what most men are hoping to get from such efforts, can you guess what most women are hoping for?   Is it to be wooed?  For someone to be interested in her?  To be
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February 3, 2015 | by
Categories: Couples, Dating, Holidays, and Marriage.

Make Your Valentine’s Day a Success Story

It seems a common belief (especially among men) that Valentine’s Day was invented by the greeting card industry to make some profits during a low income time of year.  While the greeting card industry may have seen an opportunity in Valentine’s Day, they certainly didn’t invent the “valentine.”  According to legend, Valentinus (or St. Valentine) was a Roman priest in the third century.  He is said to have performed marriages of Christians and helped Christians in other ways during a period of Christian persecution in the Roman Empire.  Folklore further suggests that he started the “Valentine” tradition by cutting heart
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February 10, 2014 | by
Categories: Couples, Holidays, Marriage, and Personal Growth.